Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Idiosyncrasies of Malaysians.

I suddenly thought of this. With this script, we managed to be champion in the Choral Speaking Competition for a few years in high school back in 2003.

Enjoy.
(:

Idiosyncrasies of Malaysians
Huh? What's that?
Little personal behaviors or nature
Peculiar to Malaysians
Funny but it's true
That these observations we make
Can be about you

Malaysians by large oooooze charm and care
Sensitive and mature
We compromise
And we share
But why is it
Malaysians, when behind the wheels
Mutate into monsters!
Rude.
Selfishh..
Dangerousss...
Racing taxis, noisy cars
Rushing here, rushing there
Rushing here and everywhere!
Immature road bullies
Who smash windscreens and bones
(Scream)
While hooting honking drivers
Impatiently groan
BEEP! BEEP! Eh! I signaled what!
Signal your own side lah! My car my space what!
Oh, dear! Is this KL?
Look at how they speak!
Sshhhhh!
No wonder, KL is the third rudest city in the world
We have drivers
Who turn highways into Formula One track
Hey, guys!
I am better than Michael Shcumacher!
Fleeting motorcyclist
Who zig zag their way to death
Vroom vroooom...
Motorists suddenly slow down
Necks outstretch
Eyes affixed
ACCIDENT! ACCIDENT!
(Nee noh nee noh)
Eh, somebody call the ambulance!
Wah, accident ah?
Eh, go buy toto and magnum!
5 big 5 small, 9394 ar...
We ask ourselves, whatever for?
Just to note the number plate for a digit win

Public toilets
Can't live with them
Yucks!
Can't live without them
I think I'm gonna poop!
Mummy, mummy! Do you want me to sit or stand on the toilet seat?
No, no, darling! At home you seat, outside you stand!
Malaysians are somewhat unclear
About what goes into where
A peep into public toilets
AAHHHHH! 
Confirms your worst nightmare

Malaysians
We just love to eat
Uummmpp..
We munch and crunch
Chomp and chew
Through a feast of foood
Check out the delicacies!
We have
The spiciest
The sweetest
Most sour
And most bitter of food
Nasi lemak
Chappati
Sizzling steak
Char kuey teow
Roti canai
Satay
High teas ang buffet galores
Bring kiasus to the fore
Piling their plates with soooo much food
Still they come for more
For more
And more
And more!
Just to get their money's worth
The results
From size S to XXL
XXL to...
You get the point?
Obesity
Diabetes
Heart diseaees
(Doopdoop, doopdoop.. teeeeeeeet!)
But then
Every we look we see
Diet pills
Surgeries
It doesn't make sense
Why don't we just exercise?

There's a time in the year
Where Malaysians behave a little queer
Yesss! The sales are here!
Megasales up to 30, 50, 70 percent of discounts
(Gasp)
Buy 2 get 1 free!
Shop 'til you drop!
Run out of money?
Not to worry!
We have
American Express
Visa Card
Master card
One for every occasion!
Spend, spend, spend
Bills, bills, bills
Enjoy now
Regret later

Malaysians have a complex that
Much is more
Bigger is better
Taller is terrific!
Thus, we have
The tallest Twin Towers
The longest canopy walking
The largest cooking contest
The biggest moon cake
(Gasp)
Wait!
Not forgetting the number of trees planted
A hundred thousand trees a minute
See, we have them all
If we can't make it
To the Guinness Book of Records
The Malaysian Book of Records will do, thank you!
Having heard our view
Won't you say
Malaysians are
Peculiar in their nature and behavior?
However
These idiosyncrasies
For better or worse
Mark us as Malaysians
As we stamp our identity
That makes us
Malaysians Malaysian! 

p/s : 3 Jujurians! Do you guys remember this still? (;

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